Cancer Danger from Reading Cancer Scare Stories in the Daily Mail

Simply reading the cancer scare stories in the Daily Mail can itself cause changes that might lead to cancer, scientists claim.

Researchers in the UK and America have linked an increased risk in brain cancer from reading the Mail’s pseudo-scientific cancer scare stories. The tests were carried out on a mouse at the University of Southern California by Professor Denzil Dexter.

“We took one mouse and placed him in a cage with nothing but a copy of the Daily Mail featuring an article about how befriending buxom ladies on facebook causes an increased risk of cancer. As a control we insured that no water, food or anything else was present in the environment that could contaminant the result.”

When Professor Dexter returned to the cage the following week, the mouse had died. There were no physical marks on the mouse’s body proving beyond doubt that it must have died from cancer.

Professor Dexter added: “These latest findings are preliminary research and we are now looking into this area in more detail”, however we do not intend to report on the further research if the experiments turn out to be negative.