Thursday, 11 June 2009

Python Plagiarising for Singh - Part 1 (The Scientist Trial)

A bogus transcript of the preliminary Singh V BCA hearing with a little help from the Pythons:

WOOS: A scientist! A scientist! A scientist! We've got a scientist! A scientist!

WOO #1: We have found a scientist, might we sue him?

WOOS: Sue him! Sue!

EADY: How do you know he is a scientist?

WOO #2: he looks like one.

EADY: Bring him forward.

SINGH: I'm not a scientist. I'm not a scientist. (I’m a science writer)

EADY: But you are dressed as one.

SINGH: They dressed me up like this.

WOOS: No, we didn't... no.

SINGH: And this isn't my test tube, it's a false one.

EADY: Well?

WOO #1: Well, we did do the test tube.

EADY: The test tube?

WOO #1: And the microscope -- but he is a scientist!

WOOS: Sue him! Scientist! Scientist! Sue him!

EADY: Did you dress him up like this?

WOOS: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.

WOO #1: he's got a book.

EADY: What makes you think he is a scientist?

JAGO: He turned me into a nerd

WOO #3: Well, he asked me for evidence.

EADY: Evidence?

WOO #3: I faked it.

WOO #2: Sue him anyway!

WOOS: Sue! Sue him!

EADY: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a scientist.

WOOS: Are there? What are they? (Do they hurt)

EADY: Tell me, what do you do with scientists?

WOO #2: Sue them!

WOOS: Sue, Sue then!

EADY: And who do you sue apart from scientists?

WOO #1: More scientists!

WOO #2: bogus bloggers

EADY: So, why can scientists be sued?

(pause)

WOO #3: B--... 'cause they're bogus...?

EADY: Good!

WOOS: Oh yeah, yeah...

EADY: So, how do we tell whether he is bogus?

WOO #1: Make unsubstantiated claims about him.

EADY: Aah, but can you not also make unsubstantiated claims about acupuncture?

WOO #2: Oh, yeah.

EADY: Do bogus claims get exposed in court?

WOO #1: No, no.

WOO #2: They’re vindicated! They’re vindicated!

WOO #1: Throw him into the courtroom!

WOOS: The courtroom!

EADY: What also gets vindicated in court?

WOO #1: Reiki!

WOO #2: Faith Healing!

WOO #3: Homeopathy!

WOO #1: Detoxification!

WOO #2: Cupping!

WOO #1: Ear Candles!

WOO #2: Vaccine denial!

WOO #3: Trepaning!

WOO #2: Herbal mdeicine – Herbal Medicine!

McTimoney: Chiropractors.

WOOS: Oooh.

EADY: Exactly! So, logically...,

WOO #1: If... he.. weighs the same as a chiropractor, he's bogus.

EADY: And therefore--?

WOO #1: A scientist!

WOOS: A scientist!

EADY: We shall use my English Libel Laws!

(yelling)

EADY: Right, remove the justice!

(whop) (creak)

WOOS: A scientist! A scientist!

SINGH: I shall appeal



Now with additional line, courtesy of Jack of Kent

Part 2 Now Available on all good browsers at an internet near you
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