Wednesday 10 March 2010

Scientists Fear a Pandemic as Vaccination Levels Drop

Following a recent disconcerting trend in unfounded vaccination scares, a significant number of right wing conservative parents in the Unites States have opted for their children not to receive the controversial religion vaccine.

The religion vaccine equips the body’s immune system with the logic and reason required to fight off infection from religious viruses. In addition to established forms of the virus, mutant varieties are constantly evolving, fortunately their construct contains little variation meaning that the religion vaccine remains effective against all currently known strains of religion.

However due to widespread misinformation more and more parents are opting not to give their children the religious vaccine. As a result, herd immunity to religion has now been lost in many American States, meaning that children too young to receive the religion vaccine are now susceptible to virulent religious viruses such as Christianity, Islam and Judaism.

As outbreaks of religion become widespread, many parents are actually taking their children to religious parties or Sunday Schools, under the misapprehension that they are better off catching the milder form of the virus that attacks children. Many parents believe that it may be better for their children to catch their own preferred religious virus whilst they are young as they will then be immune in later life from other religious viruses that they consider more harmful.

The religion vaccine was first developed in Britain on 24th November 1859 and has gone through many subsequent revisions. The vaccination has ensured that extreme religious pandemics such as those seen during the Crusades and the Inquisition have largely been kept at bay in the enlightened world.

However many scientists now fear that the falling uptake in the religion vaccine may cause a worldwide religious pandemic.

A spokesperson for the ARV (Anti Religious Vaccine) campaign said,
“I just don’t trust what they put in them vaccines, I’ve heard they contain high levels of concentrated science and reason, I mean it’s just not natural, I don’t want that shit in my kids brains”.


Alice said...

I've been dragged along to those mild virus parties, but they gave me spots and headaches. They certainly toughened up my resistance, though.

Chiropractor Warwick said...

i blame the media. always blame the media, it's easy and most of the time it's their fault

GrannyWeatherwax said...

I was kicked out of the Sunday vaccination group at the grand old age of 6 due to disobedience.Fortunately I seem to have natural immunity.

Peter M B English said...

Excuse my ignorance... What happened on 24th November 1859?