When things are going a bit shit, the religious minded can always gain a little solace in the firm belief that it's all just part of God's Plan.
This of course raises the question. "Is God really programme managing an intricate series of tasks, activities and dependencies allocated to over 7 billion resources?" If so, I'll wager it's far too complex to just wing it. Furthermore, God has always struck me as the sort of guy who would use a PC rather than a Mac, so he's bound to have it all planned out somewhere on a nice neat resource levelled Microsoft Project Plan. (Assuming of course that the heavenly finance department have authorised a license for him, they're not cheap you know)
So, by utilising a previously discovered breach in the Vatican firewall, I was able to hack into God's PC and search through the unbelievable amount of filth he's been downloading and eventually locate the .mpp file he's been using to manage this curious project. The good news is that believe it or not, God does actually have a plan, the bad news is that it's a little high-level. Having read it, I would certainly recommend a more proactive approach to life rather than putting too much faith in this sordid little plan.
BTW, he has a rather lengthy Risk Register Spreadsheet too but the mitigation column just has the same entry for each risk: "Move in mysterious ways".
No sign of any SLA's.
9 comments:
Nicely done, dude.
Hilarious, but could use a small correction: the pranks item (line 13) and the desert item (line 14) appear to have swapped bar lengths.
Whoops, I meant to say lines 14 and 15, fwiw.
Form Image of Son on Potato Chip
You call your blog the reason stick, but I see little reason in this post. Instead, I see lines of assumptions surrounded by verbal attacks. Those who use reason never attack those in opposition with them in this way.
Too many Project Managers these days?
Superb :)
You find the young carpenter tasty?
Based on centuries of religious paintings, it would seem that the wife (Mary) was homely as a mutt. Obviously the father (Jojo the Sky God) had some pretty curious genetics going on as well, since they both, together, produced such a fey, docile, hatchet-nosed, but nonetheless European-looking specimen from their decidedly Jewish ovum and sperm. Frankly, of the three I'd find the cuckolded carpenter (Joseph) the most "tasty" as well.
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