[Simon approaches the British Chiropractic Association’s headquarters at night, and starts painting something on the wall. He does not, however, see a group of lawyers approaching from behind him, led by Mr Justice Eady who reads his writing.]
Eady: What's this then? 'The BCA happily promote bogus treatments.' Practitioners represented by the BCA knowingly promote ineffectual treatments?
Simon: It means the BCA blithely promote un-evidenced treatments.
Eady: No, it doesn’t. What’s the definition of ‘happily”? Come on …
Eady: Come on.
Simon: Ah, naively?
Simon: Ah, no, no, unknowingly
Eady: so implying the BCA are simply misguided is?
[Eady crosses out ‘happily’ and writes in ‘stupidly’]
Eady: Bogus? What is bogus?
Eady: Render the adjective into medical terminology.
Simon: Uh. Ineffectual – Uh.. Inefficacious, sham.
Eady: So Bogus is?
Simon: Ah, uh, Lacking in any reliable scientific evidence. Sham.
[Eady takes the brush again and crosses out ‘bogus’ and writes ‘sham’]
Eady: But ‘Science, Reason and Critical Thinking’ is a satirical blog so you must use?
Simon: The colloquial.
Eady: Which is?
Simon: Ahm. Oh, oh, um Spine Wizard, Spine Wizard.
Eady: How many Spine Wizards?
Simon: Ah. Plural, plural… Spine Wizards, Spine Wizards
Eady: Spine Wizards.
[He crosses out ‘BCA’ and writes ‘Spine Wizards’]
Eady: So the CAM practitioners promote sham treatments do they boy?
[Eady takes out a writ and prepares to serve it to Simon]
Simon: Ahh! No, not happily, not happily promote, sir. Ah. Uh. Stupidly er peddle, stupidly peddle.
Eady: So Spine Wizards aren't liars they’re just…
Simon: Dipshits. Aagh! ah.
Eady: Dipshits. Understand?
Simon: Yes, sir.
Eady: Now get it linked on hundred other blogs.
Simon: Yes Sir. Thanks you, sir. Hail Palmer, sir.
Eady: Hail Palmer. And if it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll sue your balls off.
Simon: Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Palmer and everything, sir Oh!
[Eady walks off]
[Dawn and ‘Spine wizards stupidly peddle sham treatments’ is plastered all over the BCA’s headquarters in letters a hundred feet high]
Hat tip to Jack of Kent who suggested that there might be some mileage in this particular python sketch.