Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Storm: A different perspective

The conversation in the dining room of a white walled and carpeted inner North London top floor flat has been well documented by Tim Minchin. However the conversation in the kitchen on that fateful evening has been less well documented.


[Kitchen during Pre dinner drinks]

Physician: OK darling, I’ve given the guests some pre-dinner drinks while they admire my new painting and stroke the cat, how’s the starter coming along?

Actress: Just don’t fucking hassle me, I’ve got 4 courses to prepare. Anyway, how are Tim and Sarah getting on with Storm?

Physician: Yeah, pretty good, just a bit of light hearted chatter, I don’t think you need of worried about Storm and Tim not getting, they seem fine. In fact they're…

Actress: Sshhh

Physician: What?

Actress: Listen.

Physician: What?

Actress: I’m sure she just mentioned astrology.

Physician: Fuck.

Actress: No we’re OK, he’s just ignored her, quick, give me hand to carry the starters through before she gets her fucking star charts out.



[Kitchen between Main course and desert]

Physician: The cheeky fucking bitch never touched her veal. You ordered that in especially from the farm shop too.

Actress: I’m surprised you bloody noticed, I saw you staring at her tits all through the main course.

Physician: I wasn’t staring at her bloody tits; I was trying to work out what that stupid bloody tattoo was.

Actress: It was a fucking fairy on her tit and before you gawp at her arse, that’s a butterfly, and do you realise how much wine you’ve drunk?

Physician: Sshhh, she just mentioned something about Pharmaceutical companies being the enemy.

Actress: Jesus fucking H. Christ, his diplomacy dyke will never hold out to that.



And if you've not seen it yet, here's the legal advice offered to Storm.
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