Thursday, 21 November 2013

Nobody expects the Monty Python Reunion



A quick transcript of me reading the BBC News website during my lunch-break today...



BBC Website
Trouble at Co-op. 
Jago
Oh no. What sort of trouble?
BBC Website
Ed Miliband has accused David Cameron of "unjustified smears" over claims about Labour's links to disgraced ex-Co-op Bank chairman Paul Flowers.
Jago
Pardon? 
BBC Website
Ed Miliband has accused David Cameron of "unjustified smears" over claims about Labour's links to disgraced ex-Co-op Bank chairman Paul Flowers.
Jago
I don't understand what you're saying
BBC Website
(slightly irritated and with exaggeratedly clear accent) Ed Miliband has accused David Cameron of "unjustified smears" over claims about Labour's links to disgraced ex-Co-op Bank chairman Paul Flowers.
Jago
Well what on earth does that mean? 
BBC Website
I don't know. I’ve been told to display the news that Mr. Miliband has accused David Cameron of “smears” over Co-op. - I didn't expect the Monty Python reunion.

Jarring chord. The link is clicked and the web page displays the news that Monty Python are to reunite for a one-off show in London.
Palin
Nobody expects the Monty Python Reunion! Our chief weapon is satire...satire and surrealism...surrealism and satire.... our two weapons are surrealism and satire...and collage stop motion animations.... Our three weapons are surrealism, satire, and collage stop motion animations....and an almost fanatical devotion to a dead parrot.... Our four...no... amongst our weapons.... amongst our weaponry...are such elements as surrealism, satire.... I'll refresh the web page. (exit and exeunt)
BBC Website
I didn't expect a kind of Monty Python reunion. 

The link is clicked again. Jarring chord.
Palin
Nobody expects the Monty Python reunion! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as surrealism, satire, collage stop motion animations and an almost fanatical devotion to a dead parrot, and silly walks - oh damn! (to Gilliam) I can't say it; you'll have to say it. 
Gilliam
What? 
Palin
You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...' 
Gilliam
I couldn't do that... 

Palin bundles the Pythons outside.
BBC Website
I didn't expect a kind of Monty Python reunion. 

They all enter.
Gilliam
Er.... Nobody...um.... 
Palin
Expects. 
Gilliam
Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Monty...um... 
Palin
Python. 
Gilliam
I know...I know! Nobody expects the Monty Python reunion. In fact, those who do expect... 
Palin
Our chief weapons are... 
Gilliam
Our chief weapons are...um...er... 
Palin
Satire. 
Gilliam
Satire and... 
Palin
Stop. Stop there! Stop there. Whew! Our chief weapon is satire, blah, blah, blah, blah. Terry, read the leak
Jones
The reunion will be a one-off live show in London next July. Brian, come and clean your room out...


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