Saturday 9 February 2013

The Tragedy of Findus Lasagne Act V. Scene IV




SCENE IV. Another part of the kitchen.

Alarum: excursions. Enter NORFOLK and chefs; to him CATESBY 

CATESBY 
Rescue, my Lord of Norfolk, rescue, rescue!
The king eats more horse than a Frenchman,
Daring an opposite to every danger:
His lasagne is eaten, and all on pork he dines,
Seeking for Richmond sausages in the throat of hunger.
Feed, fair lord, or else the day is lost!

Alarums. Enter KING RICHARD III

KING RICHARD III 
A lasagne! a lasagne! my kingdom for a lasagne!

CATESBY 
Birdseye, my lord; they'll help you to a lasagne.

KING RICHARD III 
Slave, I have set my life upon a Findus one,
And I will stand the hazard of choking:
I think there be six Richmond sausages in the field;
Five have I eaten to-day instead of lasanum.
A lasagne! a lasagne! my kingdom for a lasagne!

Exeunt

3 comments:

  1. There was an old lady
    Who swallowed a horse
    Findus of course

    ReplyDelete
  2. This scene from the Godfather would have been a lot less bloody if they had used Findas ready-meals rather than a horses head:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avER-t6GL4U

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah the photos just like the one i done http://www.coolphoto.co.uk/2013/02/new-findus-horse-lasagne.html

    ReplyDelete