God's Plan

When things are going a bit shit, the religious minded can always gain a little solace in the firm belief that it's all just part of God's Plan.

This of course raises the question. "Is God really programme managing an intricate series of tasks, activities and dependencies allocated to over 7 billion resources?" If so, I'll wager it's far too complex to just wing it. Furthermore, God has always struck me as the sort of guy who would use a PC rather than a Mac, so he's bound to have it all planned out somewhere on a nice neat resource levelled Microsoft Project Plan. (Assuming of course that the heavenly finance department have authorised a license for him, they're not cheap you know)

So, by utilising a previously discovered breach in the Vatican firewall, I was able to hack into God's PC and search through the unbelievable amount of filth he's been downloading and eventually locate the .mpp file he's been using to manage this curious project. The good news is that believe it or not, God does actually have a plan, the bad news is that it's a little high-level. Having read it, I would certainly recommend a more proactive approach to life rather than putting too much faith in this sordid little plan.

BTW, he has a rather lengthy Risk Register Spreadsheet too but the mitigation column just has the same entry for each risk: "Move in mysterious ways".

No sign of any SLA's.