Save the Religion

A study using census data from nine countries shows that religion there is set for extinction, say researchers.

The study found a steady rise in those claiming no religious affiliation.

Mathematical models have predicted that as modern society demolishes the natural habitats of fear and superstition, numerous species of religions have gone into decline with many species of religions now at vulnerable or endangered status.

However, conservationists are stepping in to help preserve endangered religions.

A spokesman for Save the Religion stated that after "after centuries of Jesus saving, the time has now come for us to act in order to save Jesus."

To this end, a church in the South West of England have recently secured a breeding pair of Methodists that they hope will produce offspring that can be indoctrinated with their endangered beliefs. The Church plan to initially keep the offspring in captivity where they cannot fall prey to critical thinking and reason before later releasing them into the wider community.

Many other world religions face a similar crisis prompting a recent agreement between China and an Edinburgh Temple that will bring a pair of breeding Giant Taosits on loan to the Scottish Temple.