Hence, I thought this might be a good time to reflect upon how I came to be involved with the Skeptics in the Pub. As luck would have it, I happened to transcribe my first meeting with Sid Rodrigues, Norman Hansen, Tracy King and Chris French…
CRISPIAN: Are you the Skeptics in the Pub Westminster?
SID: Fuck off!
CRISPIAN: What?
SID: Skeptics in the Pub Westminster. We're the Skeptics in the Pub London! Skeptics in the Pub Westminster. Cawk.
NORMAN: Wankers.
CRISPIAN: Can I... join your group?
SID: No. Piss off.
CRISPIAN: I didn't want to be an IT Consultant. It's only a job. I hate the Believers as much as anybody.
SITP: Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhh. Shh. Shhhh.
SID: Schtum.
TRACY: Are you sure?
CRISPIAN: Oh, dead sure. I hate the Believers already.
SID: Listen. If you really wanted to join the S.i.t.P. you'd have to really hate the Believers.
CRISPIAN: I do!
SID: Oh, yeah? How much?
CRISPIAN: A lot!
SID: Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Believers are the fucking Skeptics in the Pub Westminster.
SITP: Yeah...
TRACY: Splitters.
SITP: Splitters...
NORMAN: And the Skeptics in the Pub Oxford.
SITP: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
CHRIS: And the Skeptics in the Pub London.
SITP: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
SID: What?
CHRIS: The Skeptics in the Pub London. Splitters.
SID: We're the Skeptics in the Pub London!
CHRIS: Oh. I thought we were Westminster.
SID: London! C-huh.
NORMAN: Whatever happened to the Westminster Skeptics, Sid?
SID: He's on sabbatical while he writes his book.
SITP: Splitter!
So what have the Believers ever done for us?
ReplyDeleteApart from, of course, the beautiful churches, the wonderful liturgies, the great literature, the RSV and the BCP, thousands of years worth of considered thought on ethical issues, Isaac Newton, JS Bach, the Renaissance, the abolition of slavery...
;-)
well, jack...you seem to be of a mind that only "believers" were responsible for many of the world's greatest architectural, literary and social benchmarks.
ReplyDeletei'm of a mind that you're deluded.
Oh no doubt he's deluded, the splitter. What I don't understand is how he got the Houses of Parliament bar to agree to host a new SitP in the first place. Still, at least the booze will be cheap.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid Anonymous is entirely right - I was deluded. I thought that those who read Crispian's site would recognise irony :-)
ReplyDeleteIrony? Isn't that like goldy and bronzy, only made out of iron?
ReplyDeleteHahaha!
ReplyDeleteAs always, absolute genius! All I need now is enough rope to hang myself and we're all done. :P