A bogus transcript of the preliminary Singh V BCA hearing with a little help from the Pythons:
WOOS: A scientist! A scientist! A scientist! We've got a scientist! A scientist!
WOO #1: We have found a scientist, might we sue him?
WOOS: Sue him! Sue!
EADY: How do you know he is a scientist?
WOO #2: he looks like one.
EADY: Bring him forward.
SINGH: I'm not a scientist. I'm not a scientist. (I’m a science writer)
EADY: But you are dressed as one.
SINGH: They dressed me up like this.
WOOS: No, we didn't... no.
SINGH: And this isn't my test tube, it's a false one.
EADY: Well?
WOO #1: Well, we did do the test tube.
EADY: The test tube?
WOO #1: And the microscope -- but he is a scientist!
WOOS: Sue him! Scientist! Scientist! Sue him!
EADY: Did you dress him up like this?
WOOS: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
WOO #1: he's got a book.
EADY: What makes you think he is a scientist?
JAGO: He turned me into a nerd
WOO #3: Well, he asked me for evidence.
EADY: Evidence?
WOO #3: I faked it.
WOO #2: Sue him anyway!
WOOS: Sue! Sue him!
EADY: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a scientist.
WOOS: Are there? What are they? (Do they hurt)
EADY: Tell me, what do you do with scientists?
WOO #2: Sue them!
WOOS: Sue, Sue then!
EADY: And who do you sue apart from scientists?
WOO #1: More scientists!
WOO #2: bogus bloggers
EADY: So, why can scientists be sued?
(pause)
WOO #3: B--... 'cause they're bogus...?
EADY: Good!
WOOS: Oh yeah, yeah...
EADY: So, how do we tell whether he is bogus?
WOO #1: Make unsubstantiated claims about him.
EADY: Aah, but can you not also make unsubstantiated claims about acupuncture?
WOO #2: Oh, yeah.
EADY: Do bogus claims get exposed in court?
WOO #1: No, no.
WOO #2: They’re vindicated! They’re vindicated!
WOO #1: Throw him into the courtroom!
WOOS: The courtroom!
EADY: What also gets vindicated in court?
WOO #1: Reiki!
WOO #2: Faith Healing!
WOO #3: Homeopathy!
WOO #1: Detoxification!
WOO #2: Cupping!
WOO #1: Ear Candles!
WOO #2: Vaccine denial!
WOO #3: Trepaning!
WOO #2: Herbal mdeicine – Herbal Medicine!
McTimoney: Chiropractors.
WOOS: Oooh.
EADY: Exactly! So, logically...,
WOO #1: If... he.. weighs the same as a chiropractor, he's bogus.
EADY: And therefore--?
WOO #1: A scientist!
WOOS: A scientist!
EADY: We shall use my English Libel Laws!
(yelling)
EADY: Right, remove the justice!
(whop) (creak)
WOOS: A scientist! A scientist!
SINGH: I shall appeal
Now with additional line, courtesy of Jack of Kent
Part 2 Now Available on all good browsers at an internet near you
11 comments:
Fantastic. I've been dispairing of the world today, but this is beginning to rebuild my faith in humour, and humans. Thank you.
Brilliant! I've made an effort at something similar on my blog, but it doesn't fit nearly so well as this. Very cool work.
Ha-ha-ha!
Excellent! :)
Interestingly, why didn't I cognize you earlier? ;)
You have huge sense of humor.
Excellent and very funny, but sadly rather reflecting the real world! Well done.
Hilarious - and all too disconcertingly dead-on. :) Great job!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant - but alas all too true.
Wow, thanks for the kind comments everyone. Much appreciated
A genuine LOL was had.
And then a little cry when I realised how close to reality it really was...
This is wonderful. I played the scene from my DVD, with no volume, reading this out instead...and it works!
I can claim credit for the "nerd" line...
WONDERFUL!!! Another blog I am glad to have found.
A scratch? Your credibility's off!
No it isn't!
Well what's that McTimoney letter then?
It's just an e-mail.
Very nice.
Interesting that my favorite line was the nerd line. Of course, that is my favorite line in the original, too.
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